Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Living On The Edge...

When I started here I was a wide eyed stallion ready to blow everybody away with my gung ho, can do attitude and abilities.
Oh, I knew I was a lamb walking into a lion's den and taking chances but for me, that was an opportunity - a challenge to be better than all those who'd come before.

I was built for this.
I love serving customers.
I can pick you up, take you where you want to go and do it in style with a smile.
I can give you directions, sing a song and tap out a melody.

I've met others along the way who've made me wonder what they were doing in this biz.
And I said to myself, "I'll never be like that!"
Along the way I've met folks who've been around for ten, fifteen and twenty years plus and some are downright dripping with positive attitudes.
And I said to myself, "I am going to be like THAT!"

After-all, I've had my Dale Carnegie, my Steven Covey, my decades of experience.
I knew I could do this.

So I started this blog as a testament to my will, my fight and my endurance.
My travels and travails.

I recently got a comment that made me spend a few days re-reading my posts.
From the beginning to the end.


I've really fallen off the wagon, as it were.
Under the bus, you can say.

I've become one of "those people - THEM!"

I've learned to curb my enthusiasm, to throttle my excitement and slow my drive.
I've grown to rein in my horses and burn that candle at only one end at a time.

I've learned to blend in and do for me, to shine around you folks but to disappear into the chaos of each day.

I've been beaten and slapped around by the union, with no defense from my employer - what can they do, the union has them by the ...
I've been singled out by racist co-workers, I've been bullied for my sexual orientation, my lifestyle choice and my religion.
Again, with no support or defense by my employer - what can they do against a union who threatens extortion with every word from their fork-tongued mouths.

You, my loving and supportive customers, passengers, fellow humans - you appreciate my extra miles, you call my supervisors and write to my bosses, you praise and lift me up.
But the words fall on deaf ears and standing out gets me worn back down so that we're all "equal."
Whether that means equally bad or just equally mediocre, stand outs aren't allowed.

But I still love my job.
I love serving YOU.

So it is with heavy heart that I keep my job, that I willingly work with these customer hating unionists.
These people who - but for the best of us - can drag down the rest of us to their level.
I want to keep my job but each day I find I'm compromising myself, everything about me to continue to work for this union.

I know I've said over the years that I work for RTD, I'm not one of those who work AT RTD FOR the union.
But I've been reminded over the years that that attitude, that I work for RTD will get me harassed, accosted, vandalized and literally screamed at by my superiors - who of course work for "the union."

You've seen me take longer and longer breaks between posts.
And that hurts, I love expressing my joy at working here with y'all, the great stories and experiences each and every day.
There are so many exciting things happening - from the new guidance systems, the new automatic stop announcements, the new light rails and stations opening up.

If I go into the "drafts" section of my blog, I'll find countless posts started and left for dead.
Hang my head and walk away shaking that head, wishing I had the emotional gas tank full enough to handle the grief I'd get the following day.

I love you guys, and Lord willing - I'm not giving up.
I'm sticking around as long as y'all will let me.
I'm just gonna spend the next couple of decades doing it over there - where nobody notices me.
Out of sight, out of mind.


As Always, "Welcome aboard, Find your seats, Don't say my name out loud - Let's Roll!"

No comments:

Post a Comment