Saturday, January 8, 2011

Great Balls Of Fire!

Some Drivers have some really horrible stories that they want to share.
And like many of us, while sometimes these stories make my skin crawl so fast I can't keep up with it - I just have to hear these stories!

One Driver told me that she found a really pretty young gal passed out in the bathroom stall at one of the Stations on The Mall. The gal had her drawers down, had the empty alcohol bottle still in her hand and had lost control of her "functions" while asleep!
I didn't need to hear that, and neither did you but I had to share...

I had a couple sit in the number one & two seats next to me on the bus the other night.
They got on at one end of the route and remained on for the entire stretch of a very long run.
She was freaking stunning and he was...well...not like her.
You know the couples: you wonder what it takes to get in those pokers games that she obviously lost and had to marry him!
They were cooing and whispering back and forth to each other the whole time.
Towards the end of the route, I made a comment to them and they both rolled around laughing their butts off. He looked at her and said, "She's my kidd sister," while his sister said, "It's complicated."

I mean, I know this is Colorado and we have some very liberal "relationship" laws but...
That's just too much - I think I threw up a little in my mouth and I had goose bumps for the rest of the night.
They got off the bus, arm in arm, looking like any of the other couples walking down The Mall.

Another Driver told me the other day, that she had a bus full of moms going to some event and the aisles were packed with strollers and screaming kiddos.
She was talking to one of the mothers while driving, looking in the mirror at her while she was talking so she could keep focused on the road.
When through the mirror she caught sight of a kiddo stand in the seat behind the mom to whom she was speaking, drop his drawers and poop.
The bus went silent then several of the moms at once pulled out baggies and wipes and started cleaning the mess and the kiddo.

So ya never know what's gonna happen on our bus and sometimes...
You just don't want to know.
Oh, and just to ease your minds: she did call Dispatch and got the bus replaced so they could appropriately take care of the situation.
We call in and swap out all buses when those issues arise so don't fear you're sitting in vomit or some other nasty dried stain.

Drivers on the other hand...
Our seats are disgusting and stink to high Heaven.
They never get cleaned and ten minutes into my butt warming that seat up, the whole bus smells like the nasty fat stinky sweaty butts of the throusands of Drivers before me.

But your seats (YOU, the Passengers) are fine, this I know.

Don't ask, I won't tell.

As always, "Welcome aboard, find your seats, spray/pour on the Lysol - Let's Roll!"

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