I Just Died In Your Arms...

To The Driver I Followed Into That Hell Hole:

LOL, We'll get back to him in a few.

I've said before that Drivers are professionals.
We are paid to Drive and stay on schedule.
Whether our shifts (runs) are 5 hours or 10, we should not be pulling over between stops and running to the restroom or taking food & drink breaks.

I've heard of this and it makes me wanna cry to think of Passengers in a hurry to get to their destinations while a Driver has left them alone on the bus and he's off in a 7-11 doing only God knows what.

RTD builds in "Recovery" time at the end of each direction.
For example:
If I'm on the 0 from Market Street Station and I'm going all the way to Highlands Ranch PnR, there are restrooms at both ends and usually at least a few minutes built into the end of each run to recover, hit the head and clean the bus.

Sadly, because of traffic, passengers and what not, we usually end up doing what's called a "Turn & Burn" meaning that we have to hit those end points and keep on going in the other direction either to make up time or to be on time.

I LOVE being busy, I'm just a work.a.holic like that.
I'm also one of those "professionals" who will not eat or drink before or during my shift so that I don't need to stop and take restroom breaks.
I know this is unhealthy but that's just how my head works.

Besides - taking a restroom break takes time.
No matter where we are, we have to first make sure there are no passengers on the bus.
We can't ask folks to exit the bus until we return and we can't leave passengers on the bus unattended.
So that limits where and when we can stop.
But even if the bus is empty, we have to take the time to shut em down, secure and seal em up.
Head to where ever the heads are then get back and quickly survey and get ready to roll.
Even if you're the fastest pottier West of the Mississippi, that's still a few minutes at least and like I said, we don't usually have enough time.

So when we do get the time...
It's a mad dash to those tiny little boxes y'all have seen Drivers disappear into at stations and park n rides.
They are usually the size of your shower at home.
Ok, I take that back - MY shower (I have a tiny apartment).
Don't hear me wrong, I'm grateful for ANY restroom they give us that has running water so I can wash my hands afterwards.

So I finally get a chance to hit a restroom after a three hour stretch and I'm seriously looking forward to this break.
I quicktime it to the head but it's locked.
Obviously another Driver is already occupying this water closet.

I wait.
And wait....and wait.
7 minutes later (and when I use the word LATEr, that's what I am now) the guy finally comes out and with him he brings .....
DEATH!
I'm not a fan of using public restrooms.
I'm OCD and a super clean freak.
And even a company restroom is a public one to me.
And this is why.
I wanted to drop to my knees and toss my cookies, your cookies and all my passenger's cookies.

And I still had to use this restroom and get back on the road.
I've never sliced onions that have made my eyes tear like this.
I had chemical training in the Service and CS (tear) gas didn't burn this badly.

I've shoveled horse stalls, I've dug and filled latrines and dealt with corpses in the Service.
And I've still never gagged, thrown up or been exposed to... to this...

I had to get in there.
Throw up once.
Gag myself dry.
Do my business and wash up.

I think I spent a total of maybe 2 minutes in there.
E...Turn...It...Teee...

So to the Driver whose wife (or mother!) kicked him outta the house and banned him from her bathroom:
I'd like to say, "Take your rotting corpse to the doctor."
"You're minutes from death from what I can gather."

To my Passengers who saw me crawl, crying back into the bus.
Who watched me drag myself up the chair and into my bag.
Who choked a little when I soaked myself with Lysol...

I'm sorry.

I consider this a lesson learned.
There's a reason I don't eat or drink after dinner the night before and until the ends of my runs.
I think I was just reminded the hard way.

I just had to vent this.
Kind of an explanation to my passengers who thought that was ME when I got back.
I swear, that was the cologne of DEATH.
I followed Death into the restroom.
He came out wearing an RTD uniform!

As Always, "Welcome aboard, find your seats, make sure you have your air fresheners - Let's Roll!"