Friday, October 29, 2010

You'll Never Find...

I was driving an accordian bus the other day and I realized how powerful they are.

In these big buses I can burn out from the stop light and almost immediately be breaking the speed limit!

IF: by burning out we mean burn out the engine by flooring it
IF: by immediately we mean three or four blocks
AND IF: the speed limit we're breaking is 25 miles an hour!

And speaking of burning out...

This smoking hot passenger who's been regularly riding two of my routes and smiling at me during the ride, etc...
She finally boards the bus and comes up to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and tells me how glad she is to see my smiling face then sits next to me.
She's shy & quite but gets the nerve to ask me about my day.

Oh My God, Becky!
I almost passed out behind the wheel.
Me, I was almost speechless.
I know, right?
My mouth went dry and I almost couldn't speak.
I was about to stutter and stammer out some response when my nose decided to prove that while my mouth was dry, my nose wasn't...
Snot bubble.
What the?
Ok, time to recover, she didn't notice, right?
I wanted to die.
Long story short, she did notice but we talked and she was flirting with me.

After she left and for the remainder of my day, I was driving this accordian bus and I had Lou Rawls stuck in my head.
I couldn't help but wonder what he would have been singing about had he been an accordian bus Driver?

"You'll never find, a bus as long as mine...
A bus that'll take you, girl where I do.

You're gonna miss, a bus as big as this...
That's gonna drive you, girl like I do..."

[Skip to refrain]

"You're gonna miss my bus Babe!
You're gonna miss you're gonna miss
You're gonna miss my bus..."

Can you tell I'm sick?
LOL - my brain is boiling and I'm feverish, obviously.
Union Insurance for us single guys runs around $300 a month so who can afford that?
Nor can I afford taking any time off.
It's cheaper to dose up on the OTC meds and hallucinate about the stunning passengers.

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